Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Grog and Mog

Once upon a time, Grog and Mog met in a field. Grog looked at Mog. Mog looked at Grog.

"uh", said Grog.

"uh", said Mog. [1]

"grunt", said Grog.

"grunt, grunt", said Mog.

"grunt, grunt, grunt, I say. grunt", said Grog.

"look, we could be at this all day", said Mog. "how's your family?"

"fine, fine, thank you", said Grog. "they're still sleeping it off from the big party last night. that was something, eh?"

"it sure was, grog. i mean 'grog'. damn, i wish they would invent capital letters already. it's a bit of a mess having to get by without them, isn't it?"

"you've said that rightly, ol' mog. anyway, that was some party."

"what did you do at this party, grog ol boy?"

"we sat around. cooked meat on this glowing hot orange thing and ate it. shot the breeze, you know. the usual."

"ah, yes. the usual. hmmm..."

"hmmm... what?"

"tell me, grog. doesn't it seem to you that there might be something missing? something else that could be done at parties?"

"something else? what else? talking, eating, banging rocks. what else could there be?"

"I'm not sure, grog. you see, hmmm. say, you know how the corners of your mouth go up sometimes, like when you see tog trip over his loincloth, and it rips off while he falls over in front of the ladies? well, i'm thinking we could do that corner of the mouth thing at parties. it makes one feel so good."

"it does, doesn't it? maybe we should try it now. see how it goes."

So Grog and Mog pulled on the corners of their mouths and streched them in different directions, but it didn't feel so good. [2]

"well, mog", said Grog, "i have to say that this doesn't feel so good after all. i wonder why it feels so good when tog does his tripping thing."

"think. think. damn this neanderthal brain! hey. you don't suppose that the feel good has to do with tog tripping, and not with the mouth thing, do you?"

"hmmm.... perhaps. perhaps. you may be on to something there. in fact, i feel a little of that good thing just thinking about Tog tripping and falling over. but say, why does the mouth thing happen?"

"perhaps", answered Mog, "perhaps they happen at the same time, but are not related, vis a vis, to one another. what do you say to that?"

"why, that's possible, yes, entirely possible. say, that's a very smart thing to think, mog, even if i don't know what that last thing you said meant."

"yes, neither did i, seeing as i don't speak french. but anyway, how about we bring tog along to the next party and make him fall and lose his loincloth in front of the ladies a few times. that would give us those good feelings, then, right? and it would be something to do besides eat, talk, and bang rocks."

"capital, my good man, just capital. we shall proceed to do just that."

And so along went Grog and Mog to find Tog.

"hello tog", said Grog.

"hello tog", said Mog.

"Hi, Grog. Hi Mog. Guess WhaT? TheY jUsT inVentEd CapiTAl lEttERS! Isn't tHAT GreaT?" [3]

"SAY tog, THAT IS gReAT!", said Grog.

"OnlY, I don'T ThINK That I aM using TheM just RigHT yet", said Tog.

"OH, nO", said Grog. "SouNDS juSt fiNe tO ME!"

"So anYway, what bringS you fellowS arouND?", asked Tog.

"well, tog, grog and i wanted to know if you would come to tonight's party and do your falling down thing. we think that it makes us have that good feeling thing and the mouth corner thing, and we thought it would be great to do that again at the party a few times." [4]

"Well, that's a great idea, fellows. onlY, it doesn't give me that good feeling thing, more of a hot burning thing. so I don't think that It's my falling down thing that does it. mAybe it's the mouth corner thing that does it?"

"Oh, no, ToG", said Grog. "We thouGht about That. it is definitely the falling thing. well, this is a bit of a pickle, isn't it? WHAT now?"

"let me think", said mog. "hmmmm. you know. when tog does the falling down thing, we get a good feeling. maybe if we did the falling down thing, tog would get a good feeling. and by the way, pickles haven't been invented yet."

"Oh, yeS, That's right aBout the PICKles. thanks aGAIN. but I see what you SAY about the falling thing. Do let'S GIve it a try."

So Grog and Mog fell down and lost their loincloths a few times.

"Oh, yes, I see what you mean", said Tog. "It does sort of give a good feeling thing to see, and the mouth corner thing, too. Only not so much as when I did it, I believe, right?"

"WelL, we aRE MISSing the Ladies. MAYbe ladies have to bE PREsent to see it."

"there will be ladies tonight at the party. let's all do it", said Mog.

It was a big hit. Especially for the ladies. And thus was born the first party game. [5]

Yehuda

[1] Mog was later sued by Grog for misuse of trademark, specifically violating the "look and feel" of a greeting first popularized by Grog. The greeting was also patent pending, a system for the greeting of a person whereby initial recognition is achieved in a non-threatening manner.

[2] It did feel good to the ladies who were secretly observing this, however.

[3] Hacker and early adapter.

[4] Luddite, old generation, refuses to get with the times.

[5] It was called "Whose Loincloth is it, Anyway?" (tm)

5 comments:

GROGnads said...

Yes, while that damm "mog" is STILL using 'delaying tactics' in the "courtroom", that ancient & "prehistoric" ole 'bastiche'!
AND...I'm awaiting my ongoing "infringement" lawsuits FOR the 'creation' of "colourful" writings as well, harrum-m-m-mph!

sodaklady said...

Oh, sure, just like men to invent a game only men can play while the women sit on the sidelines and watch. Of course, if they'd included the women in their new game, it probably wouldn't be suitable for general audiences.

Yehuda said...

sodaklady: And loincloths falling off of men is? You must go to some interesting parties.

Yehuda

sodaklady said...

Oh, yeah; that's funny no matter what your age or gender! :D

Would you like to drop by for a game of "Are You Sure Those Are Your Pants?"?

Wes M said...

Now that is the way to set up a punchline.