Tuesday, November 21, 2006

I Must Obey

Board games! That's what this blog is about, and that's what you're gonna get. Board games. And nothing but board games.

Now, here's our first article on board games:

The atmosphere is tense. The players eye each other warily. Each waits patiently to make his move.

Yes, this by now familiar scene went on late last night at Manhattan bank, where members of the board of directors debated into the night about the latest mergers and acquisitions offer from their larger competitor, New York bank. The discussions went late into the ... uh, the night and the ... uh, chairman ... um

No?

What?

...

Oh.

Sorry.

Ahem.

Board games! Yes, the thrill of competition, the agony of defeat. These players spent four years training in the chilly winter weather of Canada to compete in the new Olympic sport of snowboarding. Here's what the captain of Montreal's team had to say:

"Yoo Englishmen. You mak me zeek. Yahr mozher was a hamstair ..."

Yes, snow, sun, ... ah, snow, ... uh ... sun ... snow?

What? What now?

Well. You don't say.

Harumph. I'll come in again.

(3 2 1)

Board games! Yes, here in Woschtershochsterchestershoosterchire the hotels have been short-changing their guests by refusing to serve a complete breakfast, despite promising full room and ... uh .. room and ... er

...

Hmmmmm ....

No, no. I got it. You don't have to yell.

*grumble*

OK, here we go, a 1 and a 2 and a

Board games! Intel on Monday announced that a shortage in circuit boards is expected for ... no! no! no!

Board games! Telephone companies have been silently dropping calls to the ....

Board games! New airline security procedures make getting on an airplane a ....

Board games! Printers Corp announces that they will be using new cardboard stock in their ....

Board games! New building materials are now reaching American shores for ...

At the latest diving competition, a great many competitors are jazzing it up on the ...

Pushed into the side of the hockey arena, Wayne Smith recovered and ...

On the side of the H. M. S. Pax Americana there is ...

Surfers in California report that ...

Today's BBS's ...

Uh ...

Excuse me a minute ....

*BANG*! *CRASH*! *BAMF*! *BANG*! *SMASH*! *tinkle* *tinkle* *tinkle*

...

*SMASH*!

*THUD*

Now, where were we?

Oh, yes ...

Ahem.

3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

In today's news, new concerns have arisen over the idleness of children, who could instead be more productively using their time. [there we go!] New research has been carried out in order to find ways to encourage even children in utero to more actively exercise their mental life.

Yes, today's bored gametes are *KERPLOW*! *click* *KERPLOW*! *click* *KERPLOW*!

drip drip drip

bleed bleed

...

...

... ohhhh... *KERPLOW*! *thunk*

......

We apologize for this week's post. Yehuda will return next week with a new brain.

If there is any spare tapioca pudding lying around.

1 comment:

Fellonmyhead said...

Damn, just when it was getting interesting!