Sunday, September 18, 2005

Speculative Gaming

Unlike what some folks might construe from the 'heading', I'm talking about just WHAT we could 'expect' for the latest rendition of something that has gotten the 'buzz' over on the BGG site! There's rumors to the effect that it will be of an ''old school'' Avalon Hill game(or 'what' THEIR definition of that could 'be'), from the W.o.t.C./Hasbro people would end up as. I submit the following as the BEST 'guess' upon this. Since they're most likely to 'go' with a time-proven 'system' and just plunk a familiar 'name' upon that, then it wouldn't surprise ME in the least. Why, you would probably even 'get' some ''A&A''-Minis for the 'bits' in this! Instead of 'Houses & Hotels', then there'll 'be' 'Pillboxes' and 'Bunkers'.
''Do NOT Pass 'GO' & don't Collect 200 rounds of Ammo!''
''Take a 'Ride' on the Auschwitz Railroad and PAY with your LIFE!''
''You WON the 'Beautiful Aryan' Contest and have Dinner with Adolf! Remember NOT to 'smoke' around him, or you'll get sent to the Russian Front!''
''Go to St. Charles de Gaulle Place and PAY the owner TWICE the normal amount of 'prestige' since you have to 'kow-tow' to their 'honor'!''
''Advance to BOREDOM! Collect your 'wits' and git the 'heil' out!''

This is NOT at all representative of their ''hive collective'' mentality, but MORE akin to their ''it's just business'' approaches and a means to satisfy their ''share holders'', of which is truly their main 'concern'. I have nothing against companies making money for whatever they 'produce', but what I dislike is having the SAME ole 'crap' again, being foisted upon US-(the consumers) with just some tacked on 'theme', to have it become 'distinctive' for ''Marketing'' purposes. Of course, I'll continue to NOT ''buy into'' their 'gaming pablum' for the massively misguided folks, but don't let that stop YOU from doing such. Does anybody have any idea of just how MANY of the ''M~opoly'' games there are? More than 'one' is TOO many. So you can understand just WHY I'd 'pick' this as their NEXT 'game' release. The 'gameboard' that you see here was done up by someone I know, and has his ''Forum'' name upon this, as you can readily 'see'. He did this with regards to displaying just how INSIPID it would 'sound', and for our amusement. I do believe that he accomplished ALL of his 'goals' for that WITH 'this'!

RANT 'on': As for the ongoing 'bone of contention' regarding the 'A&A'-Minis, then I'd like to point out the MANY unhistorical inaccuracies, or downright idiotic seepage of the "Fantasy Farcical Figures" that they'll be providing. There's the ''Red Devil Cap'n'' FOR the U.S.A. forces-of which HE should 'be' British! Are there going to 'be' some ''Dreaming Beagles'' Paras for the Brit's sorts as well? Then the 'Inspiring Lt.' guy for which WHY couldn't they get a better 'name' or description with something ELSE? I wonder if they'll have the 'Curmudgeon Corporal' NEXT? Or how's about the 'Sarcastic Sergeant'? I wouldn't doubt that they'd come up with 'Major Disappointment' and 'General Lack of Concern' at the rate they're going with this. It's just plain and simply STUPID on their part, while I don't know just WHO does their 'background' on these, but they need to slap 'em upside the HEAD some for their 'contributions' on these. Get a 'grip' on reality and around the 'tard's throat that 'arrived' upon 'em, since they're definitely lacking in qualifications for THIS, and maybe even a LACK of oxygen would rectify their disposition. I don't know, but I 'wonder', just who did the sculpting for the Anti-Tank guns? as they don't look 'correct' and especially for the simple TIRES for those! I mention this since lots of people(idjits?) seem to proclaim the 'details' of them all, as being exquisite-their 'words', not mine. Maybe they ought to get out to the Game places to SEE some excellent 'examples' on display for other 'systems', and THEN make their 'determinations' eh? As for some of the 'A.F.V.'s-(Armored Fighting Vehicles or TANKS for those not 'in' on the jargon), then what's with the 'camo' schemes for some of them? The M-3 Lee has a 'Desert' look to it when it should 'be' for a JUNGLE locale instead! The SAME with the 'Japanese' Tank as well. While the 'Soviets' have what? Somebody explain to ME just where are they going to be 'Combattling' AT! They 'appear' to be on their 'way' to the North AfricanTheatre!, or somewhere thereabouts. Then there's that 'Croc-O-Tank' that don't gots its Trailer-Tank full of 'fuel' of which it NEEDS to 'spout flames'. Also of 'note' is the 'classification' for some of these, and it is THAT of which I really take 'issue' with! Their selections are truly indicative of their 'uninspired' attempts at bringing some of the RARE 'factor' into all of this. Anybody there at W.o.t.C. ever 'heard' of going to the Library? Then how's about just LOOKING these 'up' on the ''intarwebs''? I'm sure that there'll be plenty of other more inane additions to this 'listing' as they crop up, since we have the wonderfully demented folks of you-know-where going 'whole hog' on their efforts for this. While, who knows?, maybe we'll FINALLY get to 'see' some of them ''Alien Space Bats'' *popping* in with future 'boosters' for this, huh?
RANT 'off':

It just goes to show you, it's ALWAYs 'something'!


Coldfoot said...

That was a truly inspired, first rate rant, Grog. (applause, applause)

And I had a real laugh at a couple of the Monopoly digs. Unfortunately the picture isn't very clear when I clicked on it so couldn't enjoy the wit hidden within.

Coldfoot said...

That is what you get when the corporate attitude is "games are for children".

Components don't matter to them. They have market research that indicates most of their games are given as gifts and never played.


Truly an insired rant.

Peter said...

Will somebody *please* remove the "<" and ">" keys from GrogNads' keyboard?!


Anonymous said...

>> ''Take a 'Ride' on the Auschwitz Railroad and PAY with your LIFE!'

Ouch! Tasteless, but funny I must admit. And a little sad.

That gameboard was a hoot, too. Nice job.