Monday, November 27, 2006

Game Store Confidential ~ A kinder, gentler DW

If you're the kind of sick & twisted individual who checks here on Mondays to see who I'm going to try and piss off today... you're out of luck.

That's because I spent so much time gaming lately that I haven't had a free moment to contemplate all the many things that irritate me about games, gamers, the game industry, game design and the selling of games.

So instead, how about a quick overview of my feelings about some of the games and gamers I spent time with lately? Okay, here we go:

Hive ~ A boring and silly looking product. A bunch of wood hexes with stickers that are beneath the quaility of the stickers Steve Jackson games prints for that tiddly-wink insect game. In fact, I'd rather play any Steve Jackson game than Hive. And I like stickers. My thanks to Johhnybravoh for wasting 15 minutes of my life.

Railroad Tycoon ~ A masterpiece. It's distant cousin, Age of Steam, is an unforgiving and anal offshoot that pales in comparison. But, some people just don't have the huevos to play a real game, so Age of Steam does have it's niche. With three noobs and one expert who made a huge error and the host sucking on scotch, this was an easy win for me.

Rhinelander ~ Hmmm. I think we played this wrong. Other than that though I can see how this game sucks even if played correctly. I won by eventually ruling the universe.

Formula Motor Racing ~ I love this game. It has little plastic race cars. This is not a game to get all wordy about. If you think this game sucks then you are really, really stuck-up and snooty. That RK guy who designs a lot of games designed this one. But I think he just kind of altered a similar game from the 60's or something.

Liars Dice ~ What can I say? Anyone who doesn't enjoy this game is not worth gaming with. Even though I never seem to win I get great pleasure out of lying.

Wizards ~ You know, I used to sell this game in my store. For years and years. I never even looked at it. It was just some dumb card game and I was a.... real gamer! But we played this and I was transported in time back to the winter of 1967 and 1968 when I was stuck on the UK, freezing my keister off in a frigid hovel in South Godstone, playing Oh Hell! with a bunch of English welfare recepients for a penny or two a point. Two things happened that winter... I earned enough money from the Brits to get to Spain... and I developed a passion for trick-taking games. I haven't played a trick-taking game for 25 years and I am definitely going to start again. Great game.

Risk 2210 ~ My thanks to Pugwahn and Ski, two former employees in my old store for coming over and teaching me that not all Risk is bad Risk. Now I understand why this version gets decent marks on BGG. I thouroughly enjoyed playing this even though I didn't win. I despise Risk but I think I'll hunt this down. A nice one.

Bang! ~ Because of my local standing as a Game Guru and the fact that most people I game with are irritated by my running commentary I tend to get shot at by everybody in this game. I was dead before my second turn. That freed me up to walk around the table, as a ghost, making irritating comments about the players who weren't dead. Next time maybe they'll learn.

Lawless ~ I used to like this little card game. It's not as entertaining as it used to be. It needs to leave my collection.

Now I want to comment on Amun-re. When someone brought this out I took one look and suddenly remembered I needed to get home before midnight. I left as the game was being opened. The next day one of the players, Jason... who is often evil and annoying when we game, showed up for the next day's gaming and said he'd never play Amun-re again. He said it was slow, boring beyond belief, nothing more than a Puerto Rico solitaire knock-off that wasn't even as good as Puerto Rico, which he has total contempt for to begin with. I was sort of amazed because evil Jason does like Euro's and he also likes Age of Steam... which leads me to believe that he has even greater emotional issues that are outwardly evident.

What does this all mean? And how am I to reconcile Jason's hate of the game with Joe Gola's tremendous session report on BGG about it? Phew! What a quandry. Thankfully, despite there being cool looking little plastic pyramids in the box, I didn't see any real signs of a game there so it all just adds more evidence to my suspicion that the vast majority of highly ranked Euro's are nothing more than self-induced feelings of superiority by gamers who are not mature enough to deal with randomness, chance, buckets of dice and the shouts of glee and wimpers of defeat in a real game.

Again, I apologize about not being inflammatory this week. I'll try and get back on my game before next Monday.


Anonymous said...

This is a *lack* of vitriol?

This is exactly what I don't need more of in my life: hate, putting down of people based on what they like and dislike, and overall contempt for others. I don't always agree or disagree with your opinions on games, DW, but your way of expressing them is awful. It seems calculated to be as hurtful to others as you can possibly make it.

I think I'll stop reading Gone Gaming. I know I'll be happier that way. I like much of the other content here, but this weekly dose of DW is way more than I want.

Anonymous said...

Wizard? Wizard!?...Wizard is the punishment in the 9th level of hell. And you probably have to play it with Ann Coulter when you get there...Wizard!...BOO!

DWTripp said...

Chapel ~
I knew in my heart you'd think less of me for liking Wizard. But I can't deny the profound effects this masterpiece of trick-taking had on me. I'm not ashamed. Wizard rocks!

I'm thinking of buying Tichu as well.

Michael Leuchtenburg said...
This is a *lack* of vitriol?

Dude. Just skip Monday. I agree, the other content here is excellent whether you like my commentary or not. Happy gaming!

Anonymous said...

I was definitely off my game in RRT... it's time I play that a bit more often. Probably the best game I played all weekend - even though I ruined my chances of winning it.

@Leuchtenburg - Anyone posting a comment to a blog with their full name so carefully spelled out and capitalized strikes me as suspiciously trying to make up for something. If you don't like the trolls, don't feed 'em.

~"Evil" Jason

Pawnstar said...

So you were in England in 1968, the year of my birth? Did you win a trick off my Mother? I don't think she visited South Godstone but I always knew I wasn't cut from the same cloth as Father!

Thanks, DW, for another heart-warming post (or should I call you "Daddy"?).

Dave Shapiro said...

If there were no DW, God would have to invent one just to warm the universe.

Coldfoot said...

Nothing like a little vitriol to wake up to on a Monday morning.

I used to just wake up to a warm beer on Mondays. Now it's warm beer and vitriol. I don't want to go back to the old days.

Gerald McD said...

What vitriol? Am I missing something? I thought this was one of DW's calmer efforts. Certainly nothing to get upset about, as far as I could see, unless you have no sense of humor whatsoever.

DWTripp said...

Aw shucks... thanks guys. Even my unclaimed son from my rowdy old days in the UK has found a kernel of forgiveness. But all this niceness is giving me a headache.

Joe Gola said...

Whatever you do, D.W., don't play Amun-Re. Outmaneuvering a stunned, stupefied opponent as he sits blinking helplessly in his chair; taking majorities by brute force while your comrades sniffle like wet-pantsed orphans; throwing power cards in their face and guffawing at their impotent bleats to the firmament in search for meaning among the rainclouds and stars: these things are not fun. They may look like fun, they may sound like fun, to those whose olfactory sense relishes the scent of flop sweat and failed dreams it may even smell like fun, but trust me, my amigo, my compadre, my boon companion, it is not fun. It is a black hole of joy that tears the spark from your soul like some malicious physician ripping the arteries from your suckling flesh. Please, for the love of all that sweet and tender, close that door without looking within, my friend; it will only stain you with unprofitable lies and dark harbored bodings.

Burninator23 said...

It seems odd to me that this post would send someone who reads this blog regularly "over the edge." I didn't find this offensive at all...

Thanks, by the way, really, for the link to the Amun-Re session report. Inspirational.

Anonymous said...

So if you take each post as being a sarcastic post then I can swallow it whole. He loves Hive and Amun-Re. Ah much better now.

Chance said...

Fun as always. Now for an unrelated question .... Any idea when and if Formula De is going to be rereleased? I have some young people who need to become addicted.